Widows, Middle-aged people getting into relationships, is it so hard for Indians to accept?

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“Your task is not seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it”.

– Rumi

Quoting Rumi is important when we talk about relationships because there exists no relationship without love and Rumi is the epitome of love and spiritualism.

India is a country that has a verve of its own. A vast history, a plethora of cultures, vivid differences, and the only common thing between all of them is the stymie they present for the upliftment of society as a whole. Our culture despite being a blend is far more rigid and CHANGE RESISTANT. It’s resistant to the emotional betterment of its building blocks, resistant maybe because the stakeholders of culture are highly engulfed in their disbeliefs about the culture in the first place.

Let’s take a closer look at what exactly are we trying to decipher.

There are 40 – 50 million widows in India. Life is a long journey and too dreary to live it all alone.

Now how many of these widows do you think fall in love again, how many do remarry, and how many fall prey to the prevailing social stigmas which consider it unethical and irreligious to fall in love after the death of a spouse. As per research, the number of males who remarry outnumbers the number of remarrying females, and also this percentage decreases with the increasing age. Now there’s an adage that goes something like love knows no boundaries and it completely turns out to be true because love has no boundaries, especially when it comes to the boundary of age, love doesn’t stop.          

Some people get married in their twenties and get divorced in their thirties, some get married in their thirties and lead a happy life, while some don’t even marry till their forties. There are so many tribal people in the north-eastern states of India who get married in teenage. What option is there for them if their better half meets the bitter truth of death or if their marriage doesn’t work and what’s the option for a person who is single even in the forties and finally finds someone worth his/her love?

No matter how society will judge such circumstances, love will always bloom on fertile land and it needs no acceptance from a society that outcasts people just because they live life in their way.

Love surpasses all the barriers and I don’t think it can be tamed or controlled in any way. It is the cornerstone and the essence of the very existence of human beings. It’s a wonderful source of power instilled into us right at birth and can even help an individual survive any catastrophe. Love has an uncanny ability to transform an individual into his or her best form.

People of India hold an utterly false belief of culture and the constituents of this culture. Culture lies in the way people from multiple ethnicities, speaking different languages, displaying various levels of dynamism coexist in a single country. Culture flourishes when people exchange it, be it at a smaller level or a large scale.

Love in any form when transpires, can never be a stymie for any society or any culture or any country. We as cogs of this bigger system need to understand and sermonize the values that can hold this nation together and revoke the misconceptions that blind us at all levels.

There was a daily soap opera named Mere Dad ki Dulhan which aired on Sony Entertainment television from November 2019 to November 2020. The plot of this show was very creatively designed which revolved around the love story of Guneet Sikka, a woman in her forties, and Amber Sharma, an adamant widower. This story quite explains the thought I’m trying to highlight.

Adrenaline rush occurs mostly when we do something exciting like bungy jumping, sky diving, the same adrenaline rush occurs when we fall in love. The level of dopamine also rises and this adrenaline rush and dopamine increase know no control and no barriers. Love when happens grows on you and makes you do the impossible, it can even turn a submissive person into a bold one then how does this society expect to suppress such a strong emotion.

If you are a widow or a divorcee or you are single in the middle of your age and you are still considering whether to let your heart out, please go for it. You don’t need a second opinion, you don’t owe anything to this society. “Be the change you want to see in the world”, was said by Gandhi Ji for some solid reason. Do what it takes to make your life better and if it creates an impact on some other lives, then bravo, you are on the right path.

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