Love, the most beautiful and alluring four-letter word ever made. It does have some strange kind of satisfaction that if it is heard then it can instantly bring a smile on face. Every other creature who is blessed with the gift to feel something tends to fall for this feeling. But sometimes love gets confused with other feelings like attraction, affection, infatuation, possessiveness, and anger. We often fail to register the basic difference between love and these several feelings. Then there comes a reality check moment for every lover, where they get confused that whether they are only attracted to their beloved or they have actually fallen in love with them. And at that moment the possibility to accept all other feelings in the form of love suddenly rises.
Unfortunately, it is very difficult for this generation to find these feelings factual, we all are thriving for labels, we want something to talk about, we want to validate our existence in our circle. Due to these various little pressures combined, we stop to look for something real and evident. Rather than that, we eagerly want to experience feelings, and then in that very minute, it doesn’t matter that if the feeling is real or not. This is one of the major reasons why we get confused about our emotions because most of those are not real, they are just induced by our circle or our fear of losing identity in our circle.
Why are we attracted by someone?
This can be supported by a theory of opposite attracts. It is true that the opposite attracts and I know most people experience this feeling at least several times in their life span.
But, why this actually happens?
We are attracted to our opposite because we try to seek qualities and perks that we lack or admire or need in ourselves. We suppose that this could be my complement and it can complete me, that is the reason we call them our “other half” or “better half” because we seem to find them better than ourselves. Some of the obvious examples are like Extroverts and Introverts are drawn to each other similarly like athletes and scholars.
Attraction can stand without love but love mostly demands attraction, it is safe to say that you can be easily attracted to someone by their looks, body, wealth, position and as simple as by their smile too. The attraction of being different, being exotic, or being dangerous can be very exciting too, it can behold your heart for them. And in that way, we try to explore ourselves; our limits, our different sides (like dark or different). But it is hard to find love without attraction, still, the attraction could be counted as one of the initial stages of love. There is a hairline between love and attraction but they are never the same. Love is overwhelming and so pure; it is admired as the most divine feeling. It is said that those who are luckiest find true love because it is rarest to find.
Love is strong and long-lasting but attraction can fade away quickly. Since attraction happens because of attributes of someone, the sooner we like their good characteristics, the more quickly we give that attraction a denial due to their wrong/bad side. So, it is safe to predict that when we are attracted then we are mostly looking forward specific person for its qualities or perks that he/she can provide, which is not in the case of love. When you love someone then you ignore their shortcomings, you accept them with each flaw. But the point is that if two people are attracted to each other then it could be love or lust either.
So now the question remains, how can one differentiate between the feeling of love and attraction?
It can be easily explained by the center of happiness; if the person is you who is getting happy after doing all the small and big efforts then it is attraction. If you are feeling attracted toward another person, then you will try to make that person like you, either naturally or forcefully. The attraction is mainly focused on your self-satisfaction. If you have a great urge to be with someone but only when it’s their good times, and if their good or bad phase does not matter your connection with them, then it could be more meaningful than just attraction. Attraction becomes love when the feeling between two goes beyond physical magnetism. So, take a deep breath and try to understand your feelings, go through with your heart multiple times, do not rush and be harsh on your feelings under any thrust, and then choose whatever feels right.
The attraction maybe a few of the ignitors for love, but love requires more than that. Love demands some chemistry, compatibility, and passion in relationships. These traits develop with time, it does not work overnight, it takes time to understand and develop chemistry. And when all these qualities come together, they eventually complete the relationship in an absolute manner.
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Author at Factsberry. An engineering student and a confused human trying to sort his issues by confessing them on paper.